My Theology*

Before I start this apparently necessary venture, it is beneficial for me to lay out a few added notes that would otherwise not be able to fit into this post. Also, I am too tired to proof read this...and considering not many will read it, I'm okay with mistakes and bad grammar.

First, let me explain the asterisk is the title. I am a student at CBU. Therefore, I am learning new things that are continually shaping the way I think. My professors challenge me and I engage in multiple meaningful conversations with people who are much smarter than me. Which, in return, broadens my thinking as well. So to fully reveal what I mean by the asterisk I will add what it means to the title, My Theology (Subject to Extreme Change...Daily). And you might as well add weak to that also. In no way is my theology strong, the foundation for my theology, however, is the one of unsurpassing strength. It is also my belief that the daily will not stop once I graduate CBU, Seminary, and wherever else God leads me because I am forever a student of God and the Scriptures. In no way do I think I will come to a place where my theology is perfect. It will always need correcting.

Second, the reason why I am writing this post is because, for some reason, I have been given the stigma of being an extreme Calvinist. Some might give me the adjective (or noun) of hyper, staunch, and supra-. I want to make myself as clear as possible, I do not consider myself a "Calvinist" nor do I even think that John Calvin himself would give himself of title of his own cachet.

Now, let me start from the beginning....

I believe my first encounter with a Calvinist was one that turned me off to the title completely. I was in Hawaii with my family on a vacation the summer after I graduated. I decided to go on a little stroll along the strip at night to get some fresh air and out of the hotel room. I soon ran into a preacher whose pulpit was the street corner. As I came up to him I set my eyes upon a sign that he had stood up next to his pulpit that read, "God hates sinners....Repent or burn". I was a little irritated to say the least.

I started to engage in a conversation with him and he told me that Jesus had only died for those who are going to heaven. My biblical knowledge was not robust at the time and had no idea where he would get such an idea. I responded with the most profound verse that I knew on the subject, John 3:16. We continued to argue for a good hour before I quit trying to convert him (even though his knowledge surpassed mine exponentially). I always have loved arguing for some reason.

But that was my first encounter. I overly zealous street preacher who had no love for people. He was there because the Bible demanded him to evangelize. His idea of evangelizing was weak and, I'm sure, fanned the "flame of atheism" for many who were yelled at by him. I was turned off by this "Calvinism". Especially after talking to my dad about it the next day when he told me that Calvinists had bad theology (according to him, of course).

A month or so later, I moved to college to start my studies of God and the Bible. The first class I went to was Pentateuch, taught by Dr. Mooney. I immediately fell in love with him and the class. He opened with a heart wrenching, though provoking, motivating scenario that placed me in front of a boy who had never heard about Jesus. He ended the story with, "and what will you say to him about the Cross?" At the time, and sometimes to this day, I would not know what I would say. But ever sense the first class Dr. Mooney had my full attention. I hung on every word that came out of his mouth. I ate up the class and loved every minute of it. Even when studying for a test meant pulling an all-nighter and still not feeling prepared.

So at this point, Dr. Mooney could say anything and I would trust it as Biblical Authority. And when I found out that he was a Calvinist, I didn't know what to say. I started to study and search for it in the Scriptures. I read Romans, Ephesians, Exodus, and every other passage that dealt with the doctrines behind that loaded word. All I could talk about with my friends was this idea, I had no idea what to believe. I didn't want it to be true. The fact that Jesus just died for the elect. How could a loving God do such a thing? But it was still exciting, too exciting even. I saw the Biblical foundation behind Calvinism and my professor and hated street preacher's theology. It was all so new, and my mind was softer than play dough. "This is Truth", I said to myself over and over again in my dorm room. The thing that I hated so much since the day I first encountered it was the thing that I began to believe.

All I could say at the time was, "I'm a Calvinist." And I remained one for, perhaps, a year.

Then I walk into Dr. Morgan's theology class. This man is nothing less than brilliant. He remembers what page number certain footnotes can be found on...think about how crazy of a memory that is. But we started to discuss theology in a systematic way and my thinking, once again, started to become unglued. He pointed out all the flaws in both Arminian and Calvinist camps. I had to concede my Calvinism right then and there after seeing even more biblical proof on the doctrine. (I condensed this section because it's late at the moment and was sick of writing out stories of my life.)

And this is where I stand now with my theology as of June 12, 2009 at 1:08 a.m..

It is my opinion that a so called "5 point" theology is limiting to God. How is it that God only works salvation in 5 points? And then on top of that, I am extremely limited by the brain that God has given me. Unfortunately, I am not as smart as I wish to be. So me attempting to comprehend the way God works in the lives of human beings is futile. All I can do is take all the biblical data I can and throw them into the soup called, My Theology. And just to cover the main issue here (atonement), Jesus' death atoned for something. That is obvious. The question that lies before me is, what is the "something"? In some verses it is the entire world and all people. This language is impossible to bypass and I get irritated when I hear theologians and preachers try to walk around the text in a cute way to make it fit into their system. And the same goes with Romans 9 and the idea that God chooses vessels of wrath and glory. Don't avoid the easy exposition of this text, HE CHOOSES WHOEVER HE WANTS. End of story. Deal with it.

So if both are found in the Bible, why do we waste all of this time arguing about how He does it? All we know is that He works out salvation in the lives of the Lost. If you think there is any other way to get salvation outside of God, reread the Bible. God creates, provides, and gives salvation (That is found in John 3:17 for those who'll throw out that Bible verse).

But to give a name to my theology for all of you who think of me as a Calvinist, I prefer reformed because Calvinism immediately denotes an idea of a system. I hate systems. And I think God does too, He always surprises me. Therefore, I'm sure He can and does work outside of a 5 point system considering the biblical data that we do have. And even if I had to put myself into a pointed system, I would lean more towards 3. Irresistible Grace is unbiblical, people resist God all the time. They straight up close their eyes and plug their ears when creation screams, "God created me!" Total Depravity has some issues for me too. Solely based on symantics. My good friend Jeph says he believes in Radical Depravity, which I think makes more sense. I agree with the definition, but the adjective Total implies the meaning that lies behind the title of Complete Depravity. Limited Atonement...this one has more symantic problems too because atonement is unlimited for all the sin that I have done. But I have no idea if it atones for Joe and Suzy or just Suzy. I think that a lot of the Scriptures point to both, but I do believe that it atones for just Suzy is justified as well. So I have no idea what I believe there...just depends on the day I guess.

Sorry there was so much here. I just had to give reasons why I went on that 1 year sojourning process through the land of 5 Point-erism and that took a long time to cover.